Laugh Loud and Often

I haven't spoken, much less thought about, Legalese in many years; however, a couple of bloggers had some interesting posts relating to fine print of footnotes found on financial institution statements. This got me thinking about Proctor & Gamble's marketing and legal challenges relating to products containing Olestra. At the time, P&G was required by the FDA to let consumers know about products containing Olestra: not in fine print but in plain, bold warning label.

Olestra-fortified food packages dating before 2000, including potato chips and other snacks, required a warning label: "This product contains Olestra, which may cause anal leakage." The original label has been updated, but the side-effect is still there. Don't kid yourself, think twice before popping another oh-so-good-Olestra chip in your mouth. Petroleum has been diverted to make Olestra, the main culprit for the recent skyrocketing of gas price worldwide.

So, this got me thinking about the twilight zone of disclosures, disclaimers, terms & conditions, end-user licenses and privacy statements found in the fine print of footnotes. As I am in marketing, I am always "negotiating" with lawyers on the balance of corporate responsibilities and public awareness. Makes my job more interesting, that's for sure.

Oddly, very few pharmacies and drug manufacturers had the "not responsible for death" disclaimer. Fine prints of interest ...

[SkyWest Airline, U.S.] "14. Except as otherwise provided by these Terms, and to the extent permitted by law: (a) Operators are not liable for death of or injury to any person, for loss of or damage to baggage or goods ..."

[African Tracks, Africa] "... is not liable for death, injuries, personal damages and/or loss of personal property. (what's more absurd, the next term listed: "Master and Visa Cards accepted.")

[ConnectingSingles.com, U.S.] "... are not responsible for death, personal injury, pain and suffering, loss of work or any other loss suffered by your use of this site."

[Boy's Own Cottage, U.K.] "... the Boys' Own Cottage, or anyone associated with the management of the cottage is not responsible for death or personal injury, or for loss or damage to you or your property ..."

[The City of Calgary, Canada] "You agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless The City ... against any liability, loss injury (including injuries resulting in death), demand, ..."

[InterCity, New Zealand] "IGNZ shall not be held responsible for any loss or damage to luggage or personal effects and/or damage resulting in death or personal injury ..."

[Yahoo! U.S.] "You agree to indemnify, defend and hold Yahoo! ... against any liability, loss, injury (including injuries resulting in death) ..." This clause can be found on all online mapping sites including randmcnally.com, google.com and others.

Maybe I should update my disclaimer to include: "Not responsible for death or injury resulting from reading this blog."