Read the Fine Print of Footnotes
Olestra-fortified food packages dating before 2000, including potato chips and other snacks, required a warning label: "This product contains Olestra, which may cause anal leakage." The original label has been updated, but the side-effect is still there. Don't kid yourself, think twice before popping another oh-so-good-Olestra chip in your mouth. Petroleum has been diverted to make Olestra, the main culprit for the recent skyrocketing of gas price worldwide.
So, this got me thinking about the twilight zone of disclosures, disclaimers, terms & conditions, end-user licenses and privacy statements found in the fine print of footnotes. As I am in marketing, I am always "negotiating" with lawyers on the balance of corporate responsibilities and public awareness. Makes my job more interesting, that's for sure.
Oddly, very few pharmacies and drug manufacturers had the "not responsible for death" disclaimer. Fine prints of interest ...
- [SkyWest Airline, U.S.] "14. Except as otherwise provided by these Terms, and to the extent permitted by law: (a) Operators are not liable for death of or injury to any person, for loss of or damage to baggage or goods ..."
[African Tracks, Africa] "... is not liable for death, injuries, personal damages and/or loss of personal property. (what's more absurd, the next term listed: "Master and Visa Cards accepted.")
[ConnectingSingles.com, U.S.] "... are not responsible for death, personal injury, pain and suffering, loss of work or any other loss suffered by your use of this site."
[Boy's Own Cottage, U.K.] "... the Boys' Own Cottage, or anyone associated with the management of the cottage is not responsible for death or personal injury, or for loss or damage to you or your property ..."
[The City of Calgary, Canada] "You agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless The City ... against any liability, loss injury (including injuries resulting in death), demand, ..."
[InterCity, New Zealand] "IGNZ shall not be held responsible for any loss or damage to luggage or personal effects and/or damage resulting in death or personal injury ..."
[Yahoo! U.S.] "You agree to indemnify, defend and hold Yahoo! ... against any liability, loss, injury (including injuries resulting in death) ..." This clause can be found on all online mapping sites including randmcnally.com, google.com and others.
another point of view ...
You're too late, Nam. I just got a paper-cut on my finger, and I've already instructed my lawyers to initiate proceedings against you for the personal injury your blog has caused me to inflict upon myself...
howbizarre: dinner is coffee and an apple - that should be safe enough. i usually can't have chips because most of them contain MSG - i am sensitive to this 'flavor enhancer'. i found that out the hard way; mom thought it would be a good idea to liberally use 'accent' in her cooking. i can handle it in small doses, but i get migraine if there's too much. fortunately, there are some potato chips without olestra and msg. i know, i'm just a big baby.
kallun: as an avid 'judge judy' fan, i understand that i can counter-sue you for printing out my blog, thus injuring the whole ecosystem by the removal of trees. shall we settle out of court, then?
i can testify that reading this blog has left me motionless for extended periods of time and invoked tourette-like interjections occasionally. and i feel a breakdown coming just trying to think about how i'm going to sue Nam in real court, no wimpy judge judy courtroom! i've always wanted to sell out and go mainstream instead of appealing to the housewife demographic.
lester t: everything i know about the legal system i learned from judge judy, and she calls it like she sees it!
but, if i ever need a good celebrity lawyer, gloria alread is on the top of my list; she did good for mistress amber. mark geragos isn't batting great these days; scott peterson should know!
lester t: j.cochrane is GREAT, he got a killer off, remember? :-)
i would probably hold out for gloria, she always look good in a red suit - who doesn't want to stand next to her? but, i don't think she's a real lawyer anymore; she probably was at one point.
i think now, she just does interviews, and have her slaves .. i mean, interns and worker bees .. do all her analysis for her, then have the spin doctors deliver soundbytes to her before her media interview appearances. :-)
speak up!
KJ
You're too late, Nam. I just got a paper-cut on my finger, and I've already instructed my lawyers to initiate proceedings against you for the personal injury your blog has caused me to inflict upon myself...
Nam LaMore
howbizarre: dinner is coffee and an apple - that should be safe enough. i usually can't have chips because most of them contain MSG - i am sensitive to this 'flavor enhancer'. i found that out the hard way; mom thought it would be a good idea to liberally use 'accent' in her cooking. i can handle it in small doses, but i get migraine if there's too much. fortunately, there are some potato chips without olestra and msg. i know, i'm just a big baby.
Nam LaMore
kallun: as an avid 'judge judy' fan, i understand that i can counter-sue you for printing out my blog, thus injuring the whole ecosystem by the removal of trees. shall we settle out of court, then?
Lester T.
i can testify that reading this blog has left me motionless for extended periods of time and invoked tourette-like interjections occasionally. and i feel a breakdown coming just trying to think about how i'm going to sue Nam in real court, no wimpy judge judy courtroom! i've always wanted to sell out and go mainstream instead of appealing to the housewife demographic.
Nam LaMore
lester t: everything i know about the legal system i learned from judge judy, and she calls it like she sees it!
but, if i ever need a good celebrity lawyer, gloria alread is on the top of my list; she did good for mistress amber. mark geragos isn't batting great these days; scott peterson should know!
Nam LaMore
lester t: j.cochrane is GREAT, he got a killer off, remember? :-)
i would probably hold out for gloria, she always look good in a red suit - who doesn't want to stand next to her? but, i don't think she's a real lawyer anymore; she probably was at one point.
i think now, she just does interviews, and have her slaves .. i mean, interns and worker bees .. do all her analysis for her, then have the spin doctors deliver soundbytes to her before her media interview appearances. :-)
speak up!
previous 10 posts:
- Earth Shifter
- Please Pour Me a Cup
- The Decoder Ring: The Truth Is Within
- The Flying IUD and The Standing Diaphragm
- I Am a Vampire Slayer, Part II
- I Am a Vampire Slayer
- If It Says "Keep Out," Do You?
- Five Blogs of Interest
- I Am an Idealist
- No Need to Wait for Halloween