Laugh Loud and Often

Though the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) wrapped up last week in Los Angeles, California, attendees and industry experts can already be found staking out camping rights for next year's expo. Fanatical video game fans camp out each year in hopes of being one of the first to preview the thousands of consumer electronics products expected to ship before year's end.

"I'm not going to miss the opening minutes of next year's expo," said Lauren Scott, self-proclaimed video game thrill-seeker. "I overslept this year and, then, got stuck in traffic. I'm not going to go anywhere."

Data from NPD Funworld, a market research firm, show that United States sales of video game consoles, portable devices and the games made for those platforms were $9.9 billion in 2004. Current data project sales for 2005 to exceed this staggering spending.

Highlights announced at this year's show:

The Sims: Prison Expansion Pack. Cashing-in on courtroom obsession (as evidence with soaring TV ratings during trial coverage for Martha Steward, Scott Peterson and Michael Jackson), the Prison Expansion Pack allows the prison-is-not-for-me snob to experience a Sim-prison fantasy life. Available immediately at upscale electronic boutiques.

The Sims: Pimpin' Hard Expansion Pack. Embracing a newly recognized occupational status set by the IRS, this expansion pack is sure to be a crowd pleaser. Guests appearing in this pack include Jessica Simpson, Anna Nicole Smith and Mr. Britney Spears. Available by Memorial Day weekend.

Grand Theft Moped. The Grand Theft Auto franchise has expanded to two-wheelers to increase game interest in key oversea markets, including Rome, Italy and Taipei, Taiwan, where mopeds reflect the popular mode of transportation. Available only in overseas markets.

Age of Empire: CEO Expansion Pack. A re-released title to inspire a new generation of CEOs due to the shortage of CEOs expected within the next decade. The current rash of CEOs in legal-wrangles for tax fraud and other creative accounting practice is creating opportunities for the single-minded entrepreneurs. Though the game lacks much-needed lessons on corporate-compliances and social responsibilities, the game is rich in take-over and government-evasion scenarios. Availability subject to state and federal regulations.

Tomb Raider: Laura Croft is going under the digital knife for pixilated reduction from double-D cups to C-cups. Pamela Anderson is to blame for the current fad of breast reduction. Also, it was revealed that Laura Croft has names for her "girls": Mary Ann (left) and Ginger (right).

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According to Sally Hall, director of focus group testing at Video Games Anonymous (VGA), "Our medicated society is demanding for more life-like actions in video games. It's not violence ... it's simply reality."

The appeal of The Sims is in its adherence to details, and that's where realism is blurred with fantasy. The Sims makes the unconscious conscious, but not in an existential Zen way. Everyday events in Life become planned activities in The Sims; going to the bathroom or eating require user interventions, less your Sims-selves perish. Unlike in real Life where millions go hungry every day, Sims are satiated with a click of the mouse.

The lives of The Sims are driven by purchasing of name-brand pixel items, mostly consumer electronic goods. The Sims are psychologically, momentarily happy only after purchases are made; the search for existence is simply static. Interaction with other Sims become meaningless without a gift involved. In that way, The Sims, indeed, uncanningly mirrors Reality for some.

"Hey, dog ... yeah, yeah ... I be an early tester for The Sims: Pimpin' Hard," said the suave, avid gamer Kevin Federline-Spears. "Yup, looks like they listened to me -- Sim-me and Sim-Britney are gonna deck out in matching bling-blings."

Fans were treated to the usual assortment of company-sponsored give-aways; however, show management drew much criticism for not including government cheese as part of the give-aways as promised during registration.

Scott was heard in the fading distance, "I might give up the prized spot to Jake Gyllenhaal or Johnny Depp, but not even a Stevie Wonder concert can tempt me away from my spot -- and you can quote me on that!"