Laugh Loud and Often

After a long week-end of extensive sensitivity training in interpersonal relationships, I am now a Volunteer-run Support Network (VSN) peer counselor; a role very different but can often be confused with being a 'friend' to other Peace Corps Volunteers. Peace Corps/Morocco staff recognizes the need to fund and support VSN. Though I was not knighted by beloved Moroccan King Mohamed VI or presented with the Purple Heart, group hugging, hand-holding and late-night revelations of the Moroccan psyche were more than any Peace Corps Volunteer could ask for.

During the training in the picturesque town of Sefrou that consisted mostly of role-plays and group discussions (instead of clinically-scrubbed lectures), we learned to internalize several techniques that any good peer counselor deploy should the Bat-phone be activated. These included:

ACTIVE LISTENING: Techniques include Paraphrasing, Clarifying, Perception Checking, Questioning, Silence, Assurance, Reassurance and Summarizing.
IDENTIFYING EMOTIONS: This is much more difficult than any of us thought at first. So much of this session is about talking to pin-point the emotion(s) felt.
TYPES OF RESPONSES: During this session, we discussed the various response mechanisms: Physical (heart palpitations, rashes/hives, shakiness, back pain, grinding teeth, biting fingernails, etc), Behavioral (i.e. yelling, stuttering/stammering, verbal mistakes, excessive cursing, substance abuse, poor hygiene, listlessness, etc.), Emotional (i.e. feeling overwhelmed, panic, hopelessness, apathy, frustration, etc.) and Mental (i.e. self doubt, difficulty concentrating, mental blocks, etc.).
CRISIS COUNSELING¹: BASIC Functioning is Behavioral (what is the person doing?), Affective (what is the person feeling?), Somatic (how is the person functioning?), Interpersonal (how is the person relating to others?) & Cognitive (what is the person thinking?)
STRESS MANAGEMENT vs. COPING MECHANISM: We brainstormed stress management and coping mechanisms.
CLOSING: In closing a counseling session, it is important to leave an open door for the counselee to contact the counselor; follow-up is encouraged, but not always necessary. Never close a counseling session with the remarks, "Good luck and take care!" We all agreed this seems too cavalier and condescending, with an implied abandonment.

Here are some inappropriate responses when counseling²:

• Ordering, directing, commanding ('Stop crying .. you have to face reality!')
• Warning, threatening, promising ('If you calm down, I'll listen to you.' & 'If you just talk to me about it, I promise you'll feel better.')
• Moralizing, preaching, should's, ought's ('How can you do this to your family/friends/etc.' & 'You should/ought to do this ...' & 'I think it's wrong for you to ...')
• Advising, providing solutions rather than options ('I suggest you ...' & 'Go out and make some friends!')
• Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming ('You're wrong about this.')
• Name-calling, labeling, stereotyping ('All first year volunteers feel that way.')
• Interrupting, analyzing, diagnosing ('You're jealous.' & 'You don't rally believe that.')
• Reassuring, consoling ('Don't worry, things will get better.')
• Withdrawing, distracting, diverting ('Just forget about it.' & 'We've all been through this before.')
• Minimizing ('It isn't really that big of a deal, is it?')
• Talking more than the person being conseled!

The weather cleared up just long enough on the last day of training to allow us to take a walk around town, through the river-divided medina and up a hill over-looking the Sefrou valley.



GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE!

ethereal box of randomness social contract walking up and joining a conversation is unusual in moroccan culture.

1. We spoke briefly about clinical depression, and were told it is best to contact a professional counselor through the Peace Corps Medical Office if we suspected the counselee was clinically depressed. My dream of writting prescriptions as a peer counselor went out the doors as I head those words.
2. For me, this is the most obvious difference between peer counseling and friends just talking.